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Saturday, Mar. 03, 2018
10:08 p.m.
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My fiance and I went to the strip club today. One girl reeked of sadness, wore a fake wig and I'm pretty sure she was on coke because she talked like thisandshegothergartersatwalmarttheyrejustchokersandsheLOVESmyhair. Coke Stripper insisted that couples who come to the club together stay together. I didn't ask for her research methods, or her sample size. I smiled and said, "I hope so!" and then I tucked a one in her bra.
Later at the bar my fiance and close friend discussed the virtues of attending a strip club once I'm pregnant. "I won't be able to drink," I said, "so built in designated driver." I joked it was a milestone. "We can take a picture for the scrapbook and label it, 'Baby's First Lap Dance'.
Love my life.
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