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Sunday, Sept. 17, 2017
4:08 p.m.
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these days I am drunk often and disappointed even more than that, somehow.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7r9W6fsX98

this song makes me think of road trips to canada with my mother and brothers. now it's easy to find radio stations the whole drive up, but decades ago when california was less people and more desert, about 5 or 6 hours into the drive, there were no radio stations. this was one of the few times i saw my mother, really saw her for who she was before she had children. her humanity, her personhood, seeped through the cracks here in the desert. when everything went to static, we would listen to her classic rock cassettes and cds. horse with no name was one song we listened to on repeat on those quiet desert drives. hotel california. sound of silence.

one of my favorite tv shows is Bojack Horseman, because bojack is me and I am him. season 4 makes me feel everything.

everything makes me feel everything.

i fucking hate it.

stop stop stop stop stop stop stop

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