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Wednesday, May. 05, 2004 | 5:50 p.m.
[
Protectorate]

I have a picture of him on my wall. A self-portrait, with three little creatures climbing on his head.

I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to rip it down, tear it into shreds like I did Her poem. I can't remember how much I've wanted to put my knife through it.

But each and every time, I managed not to. I put the knife through myself instead.

"Why?"

Because I'd regret it if I ruined the picture.

Ruining myself is justified. I don't have far to go.

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