Thursday, May. 27, 2004 | 9:28 p.m.
[Razorblades and Daisies]
Juice fixes everything. I don't care what it is; juice will fix it. Your mom just died in a freak decapitation accident? Drink some juice. You caught your lover cheating on you with the neighbor's dog? Drink some juice.
Juice will cure cancer, juice will bring about world peace, and juice will mow your lawn.
Or maybe not, but I can pretend.
In English, everybody was told to contribute at least one short story to a class anthology. I submitted one short story and my reflections assignment. The reflections assignment was three pages long, and the short story was half a page long.
The ironic thing?
I actually say more with my half a page of short story.
Keep that in mind, folks. And go have some juice.