index | archives | notes Monday, Apr. 13, 2015 8:40 a.m. << [ - ] >> The grief comes in selfish waves. I peel the narcissistic layers back one by one: there's the part where he's dead and death is never okay, really. Then the part where I wanted him to meet our first child; the kid that would have been his grandchild. Then the part where I don't really have a right to be upset because he was "only" my boyfriend's step-father. Then the part where this means we are now financially responsible for boyfriend's mother. Then the part where I mourn the loss of a financial safety net, and then the part where I feel like an asshole for thinking about that at all. Then the part where I realize everything is about me all the time. No matter how old I get, I'll always be that five year old girl, terrified and self-absorbed. << | x | >> whatiscopyright.org