index | archives | notes Monday, May. 18, 2020 6:57 p.m. << [ The Time I Got a Lap Dance to "Creep" By Radiohead ] >> So this one time, I'm in my late twenties and my new favorite thing to do with my fiance is to go to Stripper Brunch. We love strippers, we reason, and we love brunch, so Stripper brunch should be this holy grail hedonistic gathering filled with wine and titties. We take mass transit to the strip club. Fiance pays my cover. The chef is sick. We learn this is a theme; in 4 rounds of stripper brunch there has never, ever been a chef. We flirt with more strippers. They tell us things like, I'm in school for biology, I used to teach strip classes, the DJ here is a robo DJ and the songs it plays are random that it's annoying. This will be relevant later, I promise. Fiance and I drink mimosas (bottomless because Stripper Brunch), flirt with ladies, drink more mimosas. Fiance says I should get a lap dance. Despite Goth Stripper's reluctance to take a selfie with us, she is the one I like best, and I opt for a lap dance from her. She leads me to plush chairs in the middle of the strip club, away from patrons, but hardly private. She bends over, goth titties swaying in my face. "Ill wait for the next song," she says, and smiles, because this way she can ensure I get a full song. This way I get my money's worth. The last song ends. The next song cues up. And it's "Creep". By Radiohead. I laugh. I laugh hard. She says "we can wait for the next one" and I interrupt her to say "oh my god no this is perfect." Goth Stripper gives me a slow lapdance along to Creep. Tom whoeverthefuck croons along in the back, I'm a creep, and stripper lets her bikini top roll up over her breasts. I'm a weirdo, and her breasts roll gently over my face. What the hell am I doing here., and she bids me to smack her ass. I dont belong here. << | x | >> whatiscopyright.org