Hoping that's not foreshadowing.
Breastfeeding has been a greater struggle than I thought. During labor I felt in tune with my body, birth felt intuitive and I assumed breastfeeding would be the same.
Nope.
My milk didn't come in until a week postpartum and baby, large for her age, bruised and jaundiced, needed formula to supplement. Newborns are supposed to subsist on colostrum, those meager drops, in the early days. Mine was drinking entire two ounce bottles by the end of day one. She hated latching, hated the lack of reinforcement.
So okay. We thought once my milk came in she would have a reason to latch and we would see more success. But between her anatomy and my anatomy we couldn't make the pieces fit.
Baby girl is 14 weeks today and now pulls over half of her nutrition directly from me. Even though she is a baby, she has worked so hard to make breastfeeding happen. Her tiny body still fills with rage when she can't get a good latch, or when I don't have enough milk, or when I have too much. Her tiny face contorts and turns red and I can feel the screams. But she listens now when I tell her she's trying so hard, and I'm so proud, and she's got it she's got it just keep trying a little more. She tries. And she succeeds.