I remember drinking to excess as a teen (young adult! Cries the indignant 18 year old still in me) and mostly I remember being sad. Sometimes I would accost others with my pain or my attention-seeking or my both, but the core was always sad, the behaviors anger turned inwards.
When I am drunk now, a decade later, I project my anger; I aim to hurt, to damage. Not even just aim, because one of my talents is getting what I want all the time always. If what I want is to eviscerate, that's what fucking happens.
Which defense mechanism is that again?
Who cares.
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