It's not her, I say, it's me.
And there are so many people that I want to be better for, because no one really deserves this ugly, viral sort of girl. No one deserves a disease for a best friend.
I'm sorry, I force myself to think. In the background, there is only We only accomplish anything worthwhile through self-hatred. We accomplish anything worthwhile through hatred. We accomplish hatred.
Later, I'm laying in grass, inhaling ash into myself and closing my eyes as it eats me alive. I revel in the burning, the physical and the spiritual.
Cancer. I am cancer.