This is the latest of his criticisms. Yesterday he caught a snippet of conversation, completely out of context, and stopped what he was doing to ask me, "Are you from this planet? Like, are you human?" And sure, maybe it sounds like it was supposed to be a joking statement, but joking statements aren't usually said with glares to accompany them.
So we laugh, and I try to shrug it off, but it doesn't work so well. I tell my friend I feel like I'm going to cry. It sucks when your teacher hates you, it sucks even worse when he hates you for no reason.
In my head, the way it should have been, it's this big glamorous scene where he's a dickhead and I, the heroine, I stand up and say "I'm not going to take this anymore!" I say, "The way you're treating me is wrong! I am not a failure!" and depending on the type of the movie this is, maybe I punch him in the face and he sees the error of his ways and we all go home happy.
How this really works is more like, my teacher, with the entire class gathered around him, says, "I can tell you right now, Amanda, that girl over there with the red hair, she's the weakest link. She's never paying attention and she's never working, and she's the weakest link in her group. That's why I'm going to ask her the group's questions, because she is the weakst link, probably in the whole class."
How my reaction really is, it's more like I sit there with my mouth open and my eyelashes wet. While he's still talking about how weak I am, how inept I am, I'm taking off my goggles, untying my hair, my apron, putting them down and walking away without saying anything. No justice is served. No glamour. Just me, crying because somebody doesn't like me.
Later, in the hallways, I'm walking. I run into another teacher of mine, my government teacher, and he's a nice guy. I look up, see him, and look down, because I'm upset and I don't want to talk.
"Way to say hi!" he says. "I know you saw me," he says. The teacher, I like him. He's good at knowing where to draw lines. Me, I say, "Sorry, hey, it's just I'm a little upset right now."
"You okay? What happened?"
"Sure," I say, "I'm fine. My anatomy teacher was a jerk."
"What'd he do?"
I sigh.
"Pretty much called me a failure in front of the class."
We're walking together, and the space is about to run out.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, I'm fine, thanks."
"You know where to find me if you need to."
"Yeah..."
"All right, talk to you later then."
"Bye. And thanks."
I smile a little. I head back towards my makeshift haven and he starts to head towards the faculty commons, when he stops and turns around.
"Oh, and, Amanda?"
I turn around too.
"Yeah?"
"You're not a failure."
I smile and shrug.