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Thursday, Apr. 06, 2006
9:01 p.m.
<< [
Blue ] >>

He caught me on the way to the classroom, to read, to seal myself off.

"Let's go to the parking lot," he said, and I didn't ask why.

Outside it was bright and I swear half the goddamn school was out there.

"I thought they watched the parking lots at lunch?" I said. Our school has a closed-campus policy. "It's like a party out here."

We sat down between a generic blue car and a generic black car, and he pulled out a generic box of cigarettes and waited for me to pull out my generic lighter.

"It's lavendar," he laughed, and lit up.

He gave me one and I kept it for later. I am particular about when I indulge in self-destruction so I don't go overboard. One of my rules is that I won't do anything during the day. Another is that I won't pay for anything. If I pay for drugs, I believe, I am addicted.

We walked back together under the sky, blue joy, and I felt full.

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