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Tuesday, Apr. 18, 2006
10:33 p.m.
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There's no hole in my heart or anything, I just don't know what to do. You asked me to stay.

There was a study done on rats. Two rats were placed in two cages and wired to receive shocks. One rat had a lever that, when pulled, would stop the shocks for both rats. The other rat had no such lever. The rats were compared afterwards; the rat with the ability to stop the shocks was healthier than the rat that did not, which had grown tumors and such. The study led people to believe that it's more important to feel like you have control in a situation than your ability to deal with the situation itself.

But I don't really want control. I want to act like my hands are tied and I don't have a choice because that's what I'm used to.

Over four hundred of us are leaving and apparently I'm the only one that's afraid.

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