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Thursday, Jan. 10, 2008
8:13 p.m.
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I've been less than honest lately. Almost everything I say is a distortion of the truth. "It's okay" is one of my favorites. "Nothing, why?" is another. "I ate a while ago" is the last.

Something isn't clicking. The pieces are here and they're made for eachother but everything is just, reject, reject, reject.

Yesterday? Two days ago? The last time I saw him still breathing he asked if I had his cigarettes, and I thought of them sitting at home, tucked in my purse on my desk.

I want someone to say, "This is really shitty Amanda, and I'm sorry that you have to do this." I want someone to say, "It's okay to cry."

You know the other day at work I got frustrated at three year olds because they get to cry and I don't? How pathetic is that?

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