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Friday, May. 30, 2008
7:40 a.m.
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Comfort ] >>

My tiny Judge, singing Yellow Submarine to himself in the back of my car. Throwing himself against me when I ask him to do something he doesn't want to. So planned, so precise, I watch him put together two hundred piece puzzles in forty five minutes. He's four and a half, my Judge.

Part of his therapy is to listen to music for half an hour, and do some sort of movement. We get through twenty five minutes just fine, and at the final stretch he starts to cry, from nowhere. So we rock. "Rock-a-baby", he calls it, and he cries into my shirt. My little boy. When I get to rock him back into calmness is when I feel most maternal, when I want desperately to have my own child and comfort them, but that's not for a few years, and in the meantime, kids are always screaming at swim lessons.

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