Please let this baby be safe.
Found I'm talking to god more. A ridiculous idea. I always said I hated people who needed god, who needed someone there. I thought I was strong because I didn't. Am I weaker now that I do? It's just such a powerless place to be in, hoping this little baby is okay, hoping he is safe and that there is balance in a world. Right now I need to believe that the world is a benevolent place with a benevolent something running it. I need to think that they won't be punished for being good parents with another autistic child, or worse, a dead one.
I need to think that you wouldn't do that, universe. So please.
Don't.