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Wednesday, Jul. 15, 2009
6:28 p.m.
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I have no words, so I keep pushing through stillness. "Stop" and "Go", with nothing in between, no gradients of effort or life.

I told my mother yesterday that I would stop smoking when it became the focus of my life, when I could no longer live life because of it. But working too much, that is life, masquerades as life. Work six days a week, and every other day you have off, and people don't think you're strung out. People don't think you're a fucking junkie. Working too much is healthy, productive, okay.

I can't live life because of it.

Addiction, shmaddiction.

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