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Monday, Aug. 30, 2010
9:21 a.m.
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Wallet Notes ] >>

I am terrified of how much I need you, of how absolutely perfect you are for me, and how absolutely perfect the life we build together could be. "Jesus," I think, "I could be happy for the rest of my life like this."

And then what?

It feels too good to be true. This amazing, smart, funny, passionate, creative boy wants me? Loves me? I am in constant awe of who you are, and my good fortune in finding you.

You need to know that while it is never my intention to hurt you, my overreactions, my insecurities are an extension of that terror. The terror I feel over loving you. The terror that maybe I do not really deserve this, that maybe it is too good to be true.

I know that in time, that terror will dissipate, but for now, I need you to be patient while I sabotage. I need you to stick around while I am difficult, and please know that I am trying my damndest to keep those difficulties to a minimum.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

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