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Thursday, Jun. 03, 2004
5:34 p.m.
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C'est Moi ] >>

I listen to the gravel crunch and move underneath my feet. I almost feel guilty about stepping on them, but I try to tell myself they are just rocks and are not alive and never were alive and never will be alive. But rocks have seen things too, you know.

The truth is, I am this girl. I am this girl who loves the flowers and who wishes for nothing more than to sit in the grass one day and merge with it. I am this girl who loves the rain and will constantly drag her Broken Glass Boy outside in the cold along with her so that she can feel the water on her face. I am this girl who cares about everything and everyone, I am this girl who apologizes when she's done something wrong, I am this girl who gives great thought to right and wrong. I am this girl who writes and this girl who sings and this girl who laughs. I am this girl who adores theater, and talking to people, and making them smile.

I am this girl who skipped second period to talk to someone she hated in an attempt to make her feel better. I am this girl that woke up at midnight to talk to her insomniac friend and admire the moon from her bedroom floor. I am this girl with the bottles lined up in her window, who looks forward to noon when the sun hits just right and spills the pretty colors all over the floor. I am this girl who plays video games, and talks to her little brother because she is perhaps the only person he can open up to.

I am this girl that will not lie, and can not lie. I am this girl that wants to be happy. Because I want to be happy... in a way, I am. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, too. I think I lost sight of that towards the end.

I am weak, but I'm still stronger than you because I can admit it.

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