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Sunday, Feb. 25, 2007 | 10:32 p.m.
[
Swallowing]

God, I'm just so fucking bored of myself! The way I get so upset over small things, the way I can't leave him alone for even a day, the way three days from now marks four fucking years, even if I haven't done it in five months.

That's never the point.

I don't want to be the mother, I want to be the baby, I want to fall asleep inside and far away where nothing will ever touch me. I am not ready for anything. I don't want the real world, I want a watered-down version, because this sucks and I can't swallow it.

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