index | archives | notes Friday, Jun. 13, 2008 11:49 p.m. << [ "Should is a Bad Word" ] >> Every time I say the word "should" in conversation, my dad interrupts. "Ah-ah!" he says, wise, forceful, condescending, and I have to fight my way back to words. I shouldn't feel this bitter, and I shouldn't be checking his online record. That's all. You know, when I went camping with the new forever-ever boy, I had a dream the old one raped me? And that afterwards he said he was sorry, and then he did it again? Real life or not, you'd never know. The real version is we were sitting in his car kissing when he grabbed my hand. "Come on," he said, "just touch it." Some second-rate movie dialogue. "Come on." And I started to cry. Early in the morning I rolled over into the new one. "What's up?" he asked. "I had a bad dream." And he held me and rocked me until the sun came up. Should. This should be different. << | x | >> whatiscopyright.org