Dad's birthday last night, so we all drank too much, and daddy talks death when he's been drinking. Can't stop feeling miserable, been on the verge of tears ever since. As I was leaving, I turned to dad and told him I expect another thirty years or so out of him, because there's so much I still need my parents around for. Marriage, buying a house, kids, you know the drill.
I just wish I could stop obsessing about it. I know it's inevitable, and I know there's nothing I can do about it one way or the other so there's no reason to even waste time being upset, but I am. I'm so scared of loss.