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Wednesday, Nov. 23, 2011
9:07 p.m.
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Jesus. Why do I always do this? Leap before I look. I pride myself in being rational, reasonable, practical, prepared, but in relationships I am foolish and idealistic.

Sure, I say, I'm better. I am strong and I don't need you right now, so I will never need you, and things will always be like this. I melt, toward the end, I get needy and selfish and stupid, I lose myself. Hate it. Never mean to. I keep hoping, saying, insisting, this time it will be different, we will be different, he is different and I am different, and it's true, but it's not the whole truth.

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