I told her this morning I'd love to stop by and keep her company if she needed it, or watch the babies while she handles shit if she needed that, or give her space, whatever was best for her. She texted back that she might take me up on it, and called me in the evening to catch up and rearrange. I felt like I'd missed so much; I'm usually playing house with her every day of the week and now I haven't seen her in five. She apologized, I said there was no need, and I don't care if I have to give up a day of my vacation to help out. I'd give up all my vacations for the rest of forever if it'd mean she got another day with her best friend.
Was thinking about it earlier. Why risk my future career to do a favor for a woman I don't get paid to see anymore? The terms lain out in the handbook I signed were very clear: no contact for three years upon the termination of my employment, regardless of the circumstances of said termination. But the point has never been following the rules; the point has been do whatever I can to help the family be successful. Maybe that's not the company's goal, maybe I'm not even with the company anymore, but that doesn't stop being the goal.
"In a way this is fantastic," boyfriend said in consolation one of the nights I spent grieving. "You can be real friends now instead of just pretending."