Thursday, Jan. 06, 2005
11:35 p.m.
<< [ No Pain, No Gain ] >>
I turn around to face her and look her over quickly. I did not pay much attention to her earlier because anything longer than a split second is staring, and therefore rude. She is wearing a large puffy pink jacket, the kind that's fashionable right now, and her makeup is caked on. A thick line of black eyeliner lies on her eyelid.
I tilt my head. "Mmhmm?"
She falters a moment; perhaps regretting calling me to attention.
"Could you give me some relationship advice?"
How random, I'm thinking to myself, and without being aware of it I'm automatically answering "Of course."
"I have this boyfriend... we've been dating on and off for two years," she's staring straight ahead of her, "and he's been, um, cheating on me with different girls the whole time."
"Mhmm," I answer, gentle encouragement to continue.
"And, well, I guess I want to know what to do."
Again, the answer is automatic.
"Dump him. You don't deserve this."
"After every time he does it, he comes back to me and he's all, 'oh, I love you, I want to be with you, blah blah blah,' and I just... why does he keep coming back to me?"
"Maybe because he's dependant on you for something."
She's sniffling and wiping at her face a little.
"You mean like emotional stuff? Like love?"
"Sure, like love. He does it because you let him. You don't deserve it. Just dump him."
"I did."
She pulls the cord; the next stop is hers.
"He called me up and told me he got a brand new truck. He made sure to tell me how happy he was, too."
"What a dick, Jesus. You really don't deserve that. You seem like a nice person, and you can do better."
She's getting up to leave.
"Thanks," she says as she's getting up, and as I watch her walk away, I'm already regretting not telling her that she is not a bad person, or a weak person. I'm regretting not telling her that there's someone else out there for her that won't treat her like shit. I'm regretting not telling her that, even though I just met her, in a way, I already love her.
The part I hate most, though, is that I'll never see her again.
The door shuts and she's gone, but that moment of two strangers sharing warmth and empathy, that's mine to keep forever.
Humanity isn't so bad.