I don't tell my father good news anymore, and every bit of information I pick up in my early child studies class about good parenting, good child rearing, makes me think of him. Not because he's a good parent, but because every example given of how not to be towards children, they all describe my father. So I'm withdrawing, to protect myself, to help myself understand that I'm not really a bad kid, he just doesn't know how to be a loving parent. And that's okay. I just can't wait around for him to figure shit out anymore, and I can't be an enabler when I have my own life to figure out, my own parenting style to learn. I don't want to learn from him, so I won't.